why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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