Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
