Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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