I think I am morally bankrupt
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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