i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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