we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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