Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
