Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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