I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
