We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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