win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She bit a glass in half.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
did i just pee glitter
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
