I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
