Got a toothbrush?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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