Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
