It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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