I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Blood and glitter go together right?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
