so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
