She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
