we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
