THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
