Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
