You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
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