She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
