So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
