have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
