I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
