And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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