Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
