do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
