My pussy is not your playground.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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