you guys were way drunker than both of me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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