Are we in a gay sports bar?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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