i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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