So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
