I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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