Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
