I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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