i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
