My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm at about main and main street
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
