dude i'm inner monologue high
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
