i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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