Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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