There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
