I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
