Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
