Porn is love you can see.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
