physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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