David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
