Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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