My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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