i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
