I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
