what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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