I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
